WALKING:
All in all: Having moved between such profound doubt (who is this loser, this scum), and such profound affirmation (the truly private experience of the soul links us to the grand shared experience of all souls.)
Where would we be without drudgery?
As a little boy, I was so melancholy so often. You come from the abyss or something; you do prepare to return there. You try to prepare, or you try to be able to be prepared.
It is a state without music, but maybe there is another ecstasy outside music: of PRESENCE without MEDIATION. History and materiality, opposed to nothingless nothing.
(There is at least a particular problem, and you sense how one form of resolution would be an extravagantly direct feeling of existence: that there is that which is, there is that which is. You have a knowledge, and your knowledge touches and equates to the existence."
"-So who you checkin for now?"
"-Probably some intellectual."
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